something is deeply, terribly wrong with me
and i dont even know what it is
and i dont know if ill ever get better
if ill ever be fixed
i like some parts of the way i am now
but existing this way is so difficult
i have to pretend everything is ok all the time
like i dont feel trapped
it doesnt feel like my brain and body are constantly working against me
like i dont feel broken and unfixable
like i always feel like a person
like i dont constantly feel like someone is behind me
like i dont have anything wrong with me
like...
i dont even know what to say anymore
i wish i was normal